Late Night Tete a Tete
by Adam Shmadam
Summary: Maybe it's time to clear the air.
1. Chapter 1

_**Set after 10.3…spoilers up until that point, but pure speculation after. **_

Sleep was a relative stranger to her these days, so it was with not a little irritation that she was awakened by a knocking on her door a mere hour after she had finally drifted off. It was so soft at first that she thought she had dreamt it, but soon there was no doubt whatsoever as the knocking soon progressed into pounding. A glance at the clock told her it was nearly two in the morning; she thought of ignoring the summons, but quickly realized that her night visitor was not going to be put off. She had her pepper spray at the ready, more out of habit than anything else, reasoning that if someone were out to kill or kidnap her, they'd hardly announce themselves to half of her neighborhood.

It was Harry, of course. _Damn him_. It wasn't enough for him that he occupied her thoughts during the day, he had to take the night as well. He looked, as did so often lately, as if the all the despair of the world was heaped solely on his shoulders. Wordlessly, he stumbled through the open doorway and for a split second, she had visions of how Tariq must have been in his final moments. But the instant panic was quickly smothered as he passed her to go through to her living room. Harry Pearce, master spook, smelled like a distillery.

"You're drunk."

"Brilliant observation."

She had to give him credit, he wasn't slurring…much. She turned on a lamp, and he blinked in the sudden change of light. He turned an angry gaze on her.

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

_How my heart has been trampled on so many times I can't begin to count?_

"You're leaving."

"It's time, I think."

"Ah yes, it's all about timing isn't it?" His eyes are ablaze with fury, and Ruth starts to wonder if Harry is one of those belligerent drunks.

"You've made it clear you don't trust me any longer." He looks like she's just shot him.

"Christ, Ruth." He considers her face carefully, before continuing,

"Is that what you think? Well, if that's your analysis of the situation, then maybe it's better if you do go 'assist' Towers." His voice is dripping with sarcasm.

"Don't you dare…"

"Were you even going to tell me? Or were you planning to slink away without a word? Leave everything unsaid?"

Even in his inebriated state, he knows he's gone too far, and is shocked when she doesn't slap him in the face. She stares at him, somewhat coldly, her arms crossed in front of her.

"What do you want from me, Harry?"

"I thought that's been obvious for some time."

"Well then, here I am." She opens her arms and flings a cushion off the couch and on to the floor for emphasis,

"Is the living room floor OK, or would you prefer a quickie in the kitchen?"

It takes him a second for his scotch-addled brain to catch up.

"That's not what I meant, and you damn well know it."

He looks at her, and he can tell that despite her anger, she's on the verge of tears. As he flops ungracefully unto the sofa, he wonders if it is possible to screw things up anymore than he has already.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I hit a bit of a roadblock with this one, and then the rest of S10 happened. Thank you for the lovely reviews. I will try to wrap this up – as soon as I can figure out how…(.any ideas appreciated).

"Go home, Harry."

Her anger is palpable as she moves for the phone to call a taxi.

"No."

The single syllable cuts through the air like shattering glass. He stands up again quickly towards her, and for a heartbeat, fear flashes in her eyes, and he's instantly penitent. Tired of feeling sorry for himself, it seemed like a good idea to unleash his fury on someone, until he remembers. Her stepbrother Peter, the drunk. _Christ_. _The last person on earth that gives a shit about me and I do this?_ _No surprise she said no, you sad, stupid bastard_. He wonders if she's going to call the police. He certainly wouldn't blame her if she did. He consciously takes a deep breath in an attempt to sort himself out.

"I'm sorry."

He's standing there, fairly steady considering, and she tries to figure out why she puts up with him. Then she knows, but it can never be that simple.

"I can't do this anymore, Harry."

"I know."

They stare at each other for a long time, knowing that whatever happens next, there is no going back. Tonight is their Rubicon. He's in the familiar situation of resisting the urge to take her in his arms, but he hasn't drunk enough to entirely break down his self-control.

"I do trust you, Ruth. But please don't punish me when I keep my own counsel... When all I'm trying to do is protect you."

"How very noble of you."

There's something in her voice besides anger, and he can't quite get a handle on it.

"I've been trying to figure out what is worse…if I loved her or if I didn't."

"Well, that has nothing to do with me."

She bolts out of the room and into the kitchen, fidgeting with the makings for coffee. It hit him then, and his ego sings for just a moment. _She's jealous._

"It has everything to do with you. I don't love her. I don't think I did even then, and I don't now. Not when I lo-"

"Don't. Please."

"What the hell do you want from me?" he growled, his anger flaring again.

She was on the brink of tears, but he was undeterred.

"Every time, every single time, I've tried to show you how I feel you run and hide."

Silence descends between them. Her resolve starts to crumble away, and she finally looks at him. She can't think of a time when she's ever seen him look so defeated and she resists the sudden urge to touch him. His greatest hope is realized when her eyes finally meet his, but the sadness he sees there sobers him up like nothing else.

"Denying yourself a sliver of happiness won't bring any of them back, Ruth. I know, believe me."

He shakes his head and steps so close that she can feel his warmth.

"Forgive me," he whispers so softly she barely registers the words.

His lips brush quickly but softly against her cheek, and before she can react, he's gone, her door clicking shut rather loudly behind him.


End file.
